The Bird In Hand...

I'm letting go of the bird in hand for the one that's flying, and as I sit here with tear stained cheeks waiting for you to realize that what you're searching for has been waiting for you all along, trying to keep your side of the bed warm, I hope it's worth it. As I continuously give you all of me, I'm afraid that soon I'll have nothing left to give, and in that moment, you'll pack your clothes neatly and leave me only half of what I used to be before we became a we. And it's silly really. Because I was perfectly fine being a whole. And somehow you've maneuvered right and then left and right again breaking down my walls feeding me "baby, baby this is real love" but I should've spotted bullshit when I tasted it. So, I'll take that hit. An 'L' for the team. But best believe, those lonely nights wont be so lonely anymore. And like Usher suggests I'm cool with trading places. It's time to meet new faces. You could be the one waiting up until I stumble in past curfew, smelling of another brothers perfume. But it's aiight. Because by then I'll wanna cuddle and hold you and tell you I love you. Because I do. Dont...I...show...you? Sometimes letting go of the bird in the hand for the one that's flying is worth it. And I have to decide if you're worth it. I was perfectly fine being a whole. And I understand that when you give your heart you give it all. But I'm more worth it.

xoxo

I need to write again...

I need to write again.

I've forgotten how to place pen to paper

and allow my words to take control.

xoxo

Sizzle and Fizzle...

I said I loved you years ago, but love tends to sizzle and then fizzle like a burning log at the end of a winter's night. So, I brace my knees and make myself heavy preparing for the tackle. You cant be blindsided from the left side if you embrace the attack. So I stand here waiting for the blow, allowing my heart to disappear and hide like a lost child who's scared of the real world.




xoxo

My LifeLine...

You've become my lifeline

that perhaps I've held onto to tightly

trying to keep myself a float.

Maybe

my grip around your neck

didn't allow for space

to breathe.

xoxo

It seems like...

It seems like I can never get things out when I need them. Words somehow get stuck near the lump in the back of my throat and refuse to push their way through to the front, causing me to choke on my own thoughts as I try to swallow down my anxiety. I used to find it simple taking pen to paper allowing my words to just breathe. For once, allow them to take flight and just live like they are suppose too. Suck in air and just...exhale all the built up emotions my voice would not allow them to express freely.


xoxo

The First Time...

They say the first time wont last...

But we were suppose to be different.

So I gave my everything

for the first time

in hopes of proving them wrong.

xoxo