I Should Have Told You More...

My heart hurts...
What else can I say?
Except, the truth that I'm in pain.
Deep down to the tips of my souls,
on my feet to the last inch of each strand of hair
I bleed.
For you.
For no one else but you.
What am I suppose to do?
I sit and sway rehashing every incident I wish I could take back.
Every moment that didn't turn out the way it was suppose to.
Every I love you I whispered under my breath instead of yelled from the mountaintops.
I want to take back the bad times that didn't allow us to grow.
Every minute of every day that I spent mad at you,
I should have loved you more...
not more just deeper.
I should have loved you deeper.
Not deeper.
Just...I should have just told you more.
That I loved you.
That no one else could love you the way that I do.
Because I do.
Love you.
Like a woman is suppose to  love her man.
But I didn't tell you.
I should have told you.
But instead I walked away.
And shut the door.
And made you second-guess everything that shouldn't have taken a second thought.
I should have told you
I  love you.
So maybe then you would believe me
when I told you we are meant to be together.
Rocking and swaying while our kids and grandkids play in a life that we built...together.
Like we had planned so long ago
when we were so in love with the idea of being in love.
I should have told you.

xoxo