If God Says So...

They said that it would happen. That GOD had a bigger plan for me than I had for myself. When I was down and had no where to turn and I had run out of people to talk to, they said that I was going to be blessed beyond measure. I just couldn’t see it. In the mist of the storm I couldn’t see the rainbow. They told me to hold on; so I clenched my bible tight to my chest and cried. I questioned His motives. Asked Him what it was I had done to be placed in water drowning. Whatever it was I would fix it, I had promised Him that I would fix it if He would fix me. I was broken inside. Trying my damndest to pick myself up and make myself whole again, I was shattered. I had cried in the back left corner of my small walk-in-closet (that had become the only spot I would allow myself to be me) when I thought He couldn’t hear my plea. As I dealt with the dishes life fed me, as soon as I felt as though maybe I could finally come up for a breath of air; I’d be taken back under without a chance to hold my nose and prepare myself for the next whirlwind. He wanted me to believe, so He hit me blow by blow straight into the stomach to test my faith. That’s what I told myself, late at night, when I rubbed my own head to put myself to sleep. GOD was testing me. He was taking me into trouble waters to cleanse me and bring me closer to His bosom. I tried to trust that what they believed was possible and as I walked by myself through treading waters, they whispered faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen.

XOXO